hello. i'm still here. alive + kickin'
i just don't know what to say.. i've been meaning to change the layout but i just never quite got around to it. i even had an idea of the new layout too.. eventually.
life is just flying by day after day but i'm not close to where i want to be. things move on but nothing really has changed. just got to keep striving and shut out those discouraging voices. but there are vulnerable times where i start questioning and the trials just seem too hard to bear. there are always those days.
i thank God that there's always a shoulder that i could lean on when i'm tired and weak.
***
on a totally unrelated note, i mish-mashed recipes and made my own amaretto cheesecake. creamilicious! :)
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
a new year..
the new year.. the anticipation, the countdown, the excitement. what does it really lead up to? the change of the date. just like the other 364 days of the year.
ppl see the new year as hope for a new beginning. a time to set resolutions.. to aim to achieve more in life.. to set for a change for the better. but does it really work like that?
after all the festivities, nothing much has changed in this new year compared to 2006. things are the same, i am not filled with a new sense of hope of better things to come my way b/c those are false hope my friends. a change in the date does not signify better things. i remember last year's anticipation of the possibilities of 2006 could bring. now i'm looking back and it's been filled with many disappointments.
i had a tendency to look ahead, eagerly waiting for the exciting future. but now i've learnt that the future is not that exciting once it has arrived. it's all the self-created anticipation that makes it so alluring. when the future becomes the present, it will be just like what it was like in the past. nothing is going to change.
some people can't understand my bitterness, my anger, my sadness or even my hopelessness. they'd tell me that great things will come my way and that things will be fine. it's hard to see that when you are in a dark tunnel with no light in sight. day after day i wonder what brought me to where i am at the moment. i ask myself the same questions over and over again.
am i dumb? i don't think so.
am i repulsive? i don't think so either.
am i not trying? no, i AM trying.
so how come it is not difficult for others yet i'm unwanted?
people have told me not to be picky but i should not be giving up on my dream. i watched pursuit of happyness and i admire his drive and determination. but in the end, he was GIVEN the opportunity to prove himself. i want to be like him. i want to be able to prove myself. but how can i do it if there are no opportunities for me to show it to the world?
so no, a new year does not mean new opportunities my dear friends. it is simply a change of date, like the rest of 364 days in a year.
ppl see the new year as hope for a new beginning. a time to set resolutions.. to aim to achieve more in life.. to set for a change for the better. but does it really work like that?
after all the festivities, nothing much has changed in this new year compared to 2006. things are the same, i am not filled with a new sense of hope of better things to come my way b/c those are false hope my friends. a change in the date does not signify better things. i remember last year's anticipation of the possibilities of 2006 could bring. now i'm looking back and it's been filled with many disappointments.
i had a tendency to look ahead, eagerly waiting for the exciting future. but now i've learnt that the future is not that exciting once it has arrived. it's all the self-created anticipation that makes it so alluring. when the future becomes the present, it will be just like what it was like in the past. nothing is going to change.
some people can't understand my bitterness, my anger, my sadness or even my hopelessness. they'd tell me that great things will come my way and that things will be fine. it's hard to see that when you are in a dark tunnel with no light in sight. day after day i wonder what brought me to where i am at the moment. i ask myself the same questions over and over again.
am i dumb? i don't think so.
am i repulsive? i don't think so either.
am i not trying? no, i AM trying.
so how come it is not difficult for others yet i'm unwanted?
people have told me not to be picky but i should not be giving up on my dream. i watched pursuit of happyness and i admire his drive and determination. but in the end, he was GIVEN the opportunity to prove himself. i want to be like him. i want to be able to prove myself. but how can i do it if there are no opportunities for me to show it to the world?
so no, a new year does not mean new opportunities my dear friends. it is simply a change of date, like the rest of 364 days in a year.
Friday, December 29, 2006
the holidays
it's the holiday season and everyone is happy but it's the same to me. everyday is blending all into the same one.
i think ppl are just overhyped.
another year is coming to an end.. but what has really changed? maybe i'm the one that's on a standstill as the world turns *cue soap opera music*
i think ppl are just overhyped.
another year is coming to an end.. but what has really changed? maybe i'm the one that's on a standstill as the world turns *cue soap opera music*
Thursday, December 14, 2006
o Christmas tree..
bf + i finally decorated the tree and it's so pretty now - makes me smile everytime i walk by it. i bought a couple ornaments this year so it has a hot new look [not to mention that i'm still trying to make some ornaments myself.] the extra time has given me a chance to play around with crafts and it's been nice.
on another note, i love corinne bailey rae's stuff. it's just so fresh + smooth. i've been listening to her stuff for a while and still not sick of it yet. not bad considering i have a way to overkill songs. oops.
on another note, i love corinne bailey rae's stuff. it's just so fresh + smooth. i've been listening to her stuff for a while and still not sick of it yet. not bad considering i have a way to overkill songs. oops.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
fluctuations
i think my excessive emotions have seeped into my dreamland. i toss + turn on most nights but i wake up still feeling a tad bit tired [after 9hrs of rest]. i've been having all these weird dreams lately that doesn't make much sense other than leaving the alert me with uneasiness. leave me alone you crazy hormones + emotions!!
my latest indulgence: nutella!! so deadly but so good. it's like eating the centre of ferro rocher all the time.. yum. i'm a fat kid that loves sweet stuff. :P
my latest indulgence: nutella!! so deadly but so good. it's like eating the centre of ferro rocher all the time.. yum. i'm a fat kid that loves sweet stuff. :P
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Thursday, November 23, 2006
drive vs. talent
since i'm waiting for my hair to dry, i figure i'd blog about something more meaningful that seems to be lacking in the past while.
for those that watches ANTM, you'd know that there is a pair of twins as part of the final 5. when it came to judging tonight, they were the bottom 2. tyra's narration of the twin's individual ability + attitude got me thinking. amanda really wants it but lack the natural talent michelle has. on the other hand, michelle's uncertainty did not seem to affect her natural talent + confidence. in the end, tyra said that in this competition, passion + drive to win is more important than talent. it this true in real life?
we've all heard phrases like "practice makes perfect" which implies that it is not exactly very 'natural' for us to be very good at something. but is passion + drive to succeed more important than natural talent? in this ANTM example, it is b/c tyra + the judges decided that they are going to give the chance to the girl most desperate to win. in real world, would your boss promote someone because they really want to be promoted or do they give it to the one with the most talent. apply the same theory to job hunt. if person a really want a particular job but lacks the experience/education while person b doesn't really care if they get the job or not but has the experience/education, who would be hired?
in the end, isn't it the decision maker's preference in the passion + drive vs. talent?
for those that watches ANTM, you'd know that there is a pair of twins as part of the final 5. when it came to judging tonight, they were the bottom 2. tyra's narration of the twin's individual ability + attitude got me thinking. amanda really wants it but lack the natural talent michelle has. on the other hand, michelle's uncertainty did not seem to affect her natural talent + confidence. in the end, tyra said that in this competition, passion + drive to win is more important than talent. it this true in real life?
we've all heard phrases like "practice makes perfect" which implies that it is not exactly very 'natural' for us to be very good at something. but is passion + drive to succeed more important than natural talent? in this ANTM example, it is b/c tyra + the judges decided that they are going to give the chance to the girl most desperate to win. in real world, would your boss promote someone because they really want to be promoted or do they give it to the one with the most talent. apply the same theory to job hunt. if person a really want a particular job but lacks the experience/education while person b doesn't really care if they get the job or not but has the experience/education, who would be hired?
in the end, isn't it the decision maker's preference in the passion + drive vs. talent?
Sunday, November 19, 2006
food post..
i don't think i could stomach heavy food.. not that i could ever eat a whole lot to begin with.. i think my stomach shrunk! went to all-you-can-eat jap food and i didn't eat that much but i was so stuffed until late night where i had some yummy squid. oh it has been too long!
i don't think i'd go to alice fazooli's again despite the nice ambience. went there for lunch and it was quite heavy. the bf didn't even finished the whole sandwich and i didn't even bother eating the bread of my sandwich. we were both dying of thirst on our way home and my stomach felt all weird the whole afternoon that led to freqent trips to the loo. maybe it's a good thing that my body can only handle healthier food. i should pat myself on the back.
lately i have a desire to bake and i need to find some new recipe. anyone got some healthy snacks idea for me to bake?
i don't think i'd go to alice fazooli's again despite the nice ambience. went there for lunch and it was quite heavy. the bf didn't even finished the whole sandwich and i didn't even bother eating the bread of my sandwich. we were both dying of thirst on our way home and my stomach felt all weird the whole afternoon that led to freqent trips to the loo. maybe it's a good thing that my body can only handle healthier food. i should pat myself on the back.
lately i have a desire to bake and i need to find some new recipe. anyone got some healthy snacks idea for me to bake?
Monday, November 13, 2006
wknd o' brian
that's the title of the past wknd.
it felt like another ep. of re-living university life - late nights + many ppl + random fun & games + a good dose of stupidity. top it off w/ the gb-ing and we are good to go. all the stress + planning for the wknd has ended up successfully..
mucho gracias to the hosts in london. it's almost like the old days minus the body breakdown due to the lack of sleep. i must be getting old b/c my body needs a whole lot more sleep to endure the late nights.
while it was tiring, it was nice to be reunited w/ old friends. it was nice to be w/ the boys again [and be reminded how their IQ drops when they are together..] ah, the good ol' days.
it felt like another ep. of re-living university life - late nights + many ppl + random fun & games + a good dose of stupidity. top it off w/ the gb-ing and we are good to go. all the stress + planning for the wknd has ended up successfully..
mucho gracias to the hosts in london. it's almost like the old days minus the body breakdown due to the lack of sleep. i must be getting old b/c my body needs a whole lot more sleep to endure the late nights.
while it was tiring, it was nice to be reunited w/ old friends. it was nice to be w/ the boys again [and be reminded how their IQ drops when they are together..] ah, the good ol' days.
Sunday, October 29, 2006
wknd..
it's been a fun wknd that i'm sad to see it come to an end. it's nice just to have the time to play some baddy, catch up with friends that i haven't seen in a while and just simply spending one-on-one quality time. *smiles*
my moment of stupidness:
it was the wknd of turning back the clock and since i got to bed late last night, it totally slipped my mind. i woke up all groggy to go get ready for church and i only remember the extra after i came out of the shower with my hair all wet shuddering in the cold. i did a shoddy semi-hair blowdry before hopping back into bed to get more shut-eye.
moral of the story? i need more sleep.
my moment of stupidness:
it was the wknd of turning back the clock and since i got to bed late last night, it totally slipped my mind. i woke up all groggy to go get ready for church and i only remember the extra after i came out of the shower with my hair all wet shuddering in the cold. i did a shoddy semi-hair blowdry before hopping back into bed to get more shut-eye.
moral of the story? i need more sleep.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
done and done...
stick a fork in me b/c i'm done!! finished both parts of my entrance exam and convocated from my undergrad last week. it was a great weekend in london - many thanks to dor + cora for letting me crash with you girls. it was a relaxing + fun weekend and i was sad to leave. it sure makes me miss my undergrad days. lambton/beaver is the new summit! haha..
so i'm all by myself again. i guess it's more like going back to a routine...
so i'm all by myself again. i guess it's more like going back to a routine...
Monday, October 16, 2006
panic at the..
it's a day left and i feel so inadequate. here i am in the dark of the night, sitting at my desk alone: tired + feeling defeated. i turned on the computer on once again to try to escape what is in front of me and run away. it has been a while that i feel somewhat broken. a heart that is hardening. the God that will never give up.
i didn't realized i had the mentality that i, myself will set out and conquer this. i thought if i make myself study day after day, i have nothing to worry. in fact, just this afternoon i wondered out loud why i was not stressed or remotely concerned. but i realized i was just convincing myself of my own strength + will.
so now in the dark of the night, in the quietness and all alone. i'm reminded of the song we sang at worship during service this morning.
Still
Hide me now
Under your wings
Cover me
within your mighty hand
When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
I will be still and know you are God
Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know his power
In quietness and trust
if this is the path he has set for me, i'll walk with Him by my side. sometimes it's hard to remember this simple fact when we are living in this world.
there are many desires in my heart and the Lord knows them. the funny thing is that i keep thinking i know myself the best, but really, our Creator knows us better than we know ourselves, why do i keep forgetting that?
i hate relying on others, yet our flesh is weak and the only one we can rely on is God our Lord.
i will be still and know you are God.
i didn't realized i had the mentality that i, myself will set out and conquer this. i thought if i make myself study day after day, i have nothing to worry. in fact, just this afternoon i wondered out loud why i was not stressed or remotely concerned. but i realized i was just convincing myself of my own strength + will.
so now in the dark of the night, in the quietness and all alone. i'm reminded of the song we sang at worship during service this morning.
Still
Hide me now
Under your wings
Cover me
within your mighty hand
When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
I will be still and know you are God
Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know his power
In quietness and trust
if this is the path he has set for me, i'll walk with Him by my side. sometimes it's hard to remember this simple fact when we are living in this world.
there are many desires in my heart and the Lord knows them. the funny thing is that i keep thinking i know myself the best, but really, our Creator knows us better than we know ourselves, why do i keep forgetting that?
i hate relying on others, yet our flesh is weak and the only one we can rely on is God our Lord.
i will be still and know you are God.
Monday, October 09, 2006
'hammer thru it'
thank you girls.. i think you two are the only ones that still check this place.. :)
one week left and i really need to hammer through it. i'm far from being ready and remember the feeling of studying for thelast exam during finals? you are so sick and tired of it all that you don't care anymore? i can feel myself heading down that road. but as someone likes to say it, i have to hammer through it. yes, i must.
listening to some of john mayer's new stuff.. it's quite nice.
there's something i don't understand: why the PDA? and i do mean the excessive ones. isn't it a bit rude + disrespectful to the people around you? one does not have to be full-on making out to be consider as PDA. honestly, i think it's a problem when people are so uncomfortable where no one wants to be in the same room as the couple. and how come people doesn't say anything to the offending couple? wouldn't it that just encourages the offending behaviour?
then there are people like to gush about their love life + significant other to everyone and i've come to realize that it's the same as 'not everyone wants to see a picture of your kid'. haha.. has anyone seen that tv commercial?
maybe b/c of all these things i've noticed, i'm getting more self-conscious of my actions + words too.. don't want to make anyone barf now.. :P
one week left and i really need to hammer through it. i'm far from being ready and remember the feeling of studying for thelast exam during finals? you are so sick and tired of it all that you don't care anymore? i can feel myself heading down that road. but as someone likes to say it, i have to hammer through it. yes, i must.
listening to some of john mayer's new stuff.. it's quite nice.
there's something i don't understand: why the PDA? and i do mean the excessive ones. isn't it a bit rude + disrespectful to the people around you? one does not have to be full-on making out to be consider as PDA. honestly, i think it's a problem when people are so uncomfortable where no one wants to be in the same room as the couple. and how come people doesn't say anything to the offending couple? wouldn't it that just encourages the offending behaviour?
then there are people like to gush about their love life + significant other to everyone and i've come to realize that it's the same as 'not everyone wants to see a picture of your kid'. haha.. has anyone seen that tv commercial?
maybe b/c of all these things i've noticed, i'm getting more self-conscious of my actions + words too.. don't want to make anyone barf now.. :P
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
left behind..
know the feeling that you are not missed in the place you've just left but you have yet moved on to the next place while everyone has moved on already..
stuck in limbo, hidden from others and slowly withdrawing into one's self.
yup, that sounds about just right.
stuck in limbo, hidden from others and slowly withdrawing into one's self.
yup, that sounds about just right.
Monday, October 02, 2006
blah blah blah..
ah.. 2 wks. must focus! aja aja fighting! *sigh* too bad i woke up so late this morning -___-" must be tired from the wknd. but i can make it up with super productive day! after breakfast of course. hahah.
on another note.. some ppl are just so dense and won't get the hint! ahhh.. what is one supposed to do about that?!!
***
hmm.. true or not?
星期五女人
女性化浪漫主義的女人，天生就是會愛情的動物
喜歡美麗與和諧的事物，性格溫柔而且心思敏銳
十分重視情人和其親人，希望雙方是對等的付出
期待對方用心經營感情
希望伴侶能安撫呵護她，喜歡沈浸在被寵愛之中
希望能跟隨在伴侶身邊，不自覺地造成對方壓力
浪漫的行為可能打動她，而且令她感到幸福不已
對愛情毫無保留地投入
on another note.. some ppl are just so dense and won't get the hint! ahhh.. what is one supposed to do about that?!!
***
hmm.. true or not?
星期五女人
女性化浪漫主義的女人，天生就是會愛情的動物
喜歡美麗與和諧的事物，性格溫柔而且心思敏銳
十分重視情人和其親人，希望雙方是對等的付出
期待對方用心經營感情
希望伴侶能安撫呵護她，喜歡沈浸在被寵愛之中
希望能跟隨在伴侶身邊，不自覺地造成對方壓力
浪漫的行為可能打動她，而且令她感到幸福不已
對愛情毫無保留地投入
Friday, September 29, 2006
procrastination at its best..
since i'm at my prime of procrastination, why not blog a little? :)
i don't think it has kicked in that i'm done with school. it still feels like i'm in summer mode [except the brisk weather]. i wonder when will it finally kick in for me but i'm sure it won't be a pretty sight!
it's a gorgeous day out despite being only 8 degrees out so i took the chance to bask in the sun flowing into the kitchen. reminds me back in the day when i first came here and how those autumn days are so beautiful. too bad my sunflowers are all droopy now.. but there were so lovely!
you know what's very loserish? drive to the corner burger hut place to find tons of people waiting inside just to drive back home because i dressed so bumalicious. oh yes. i drove for 1.3km for no apparent reason but to freeze in a cold cold car. hmmm..
on the real, i need to get myself to be more positive.. i know i'll never be those happy-go-lucky people [and i'm sure ppl will miss my anger hilarious-ness] but, i think it's healthier that way. rid of negativity and bring on the goodness! half full or half empty? i say.. just feel that thing up to the rim!!! hahaha..
ok, i think that's enough randomage. time to crack it down... until i finish my download that is. *smiles*
***
[edit]
is it just me or is it really frustrating to read someone's blog that jumps all over the place and doesn't make much sense? or they are describing something so cryptic that you feel like you've read nothing at all.
i just don't get it. if you are going to write, then why write it such a way that the reader won't understand it at all?
i don't think it has kicked in that i'm done with school. it still feels like i'm in summer mode [except the brisk weather]. i wonder when will it finally kick in for me but i'm sure it won't be a pretty sight!
it's a gorgeous day out despite being only 8 degrees out so i took the chance to bask in the sun flowing into the kitchen. reminds me back in the day when i first came here and how those autumn days are so beautiful. too bad my sunflowers are all droopy now.. but there were so lovely!
you know what's very loserish? drive to the corner burger hut place to find tons of people waiting inside just to drive back home because i dressed so bumalicious. oh yes. i drove for 1.3km for no apparent reason but to freeze in a cold cold car. hmmm..
on the real, i need to get myself to be more positive.. i know i'll never be those happy-go-lucky people [and i'm sure ppl will miss my anger hilarious-ness] but, i think it's healthier that way. rid of negativity and bring on the goodness! half full or half empty? i say.. just feel that thing up to the rim!!! hahaha..
ok, i think that's enough randomage. time to crack it down... until i finish my download that is. *smiles*
***
[edit]
is it just me or is it really frustrating to read someone's blog that jumps all over the place and doesn't make much sense? or they are describing something so cryptic that you feel like you've read nothing at all.
i just don't get it. if you are going to write, then why write it such a way that the reader won't understand it at all?
Monday, September 04, 2006
staying afloat..
i've been rather lazy writing here and i guess since there are few readers to begin with, what difference does it make anyway? but the original purpose of this space was for my own release of inner thoughts. so here i am back at it again.
labour day. for the past 4 years, this was a day filled with swirlwind activities of packing, traveling, unpacking and settling down for another year. this year has been a quiet one, no stress in doing the last minute checks and running out of the house, no massive loads of groceries to jam into cooler bags. just me and the city. people always say that it doesn't quite hit you until september rolls around and everyone has gone back and i guess it has hit me. i miss it already. the apartment, the environment, the comfort, the purpose. as summer comes to an end, my lack of it all is staring right back at me without anything else to distract me.
so what is it now? i do not know. it is hard to stay positive at all times, especially when everyone is asking you the same questions. i do not have an answer, not the faintest idea of it all. so instead, i will smile with my head up high and retreat to nurse in the quietness.
sometimes, it is hard to convince yourself even with all the knowledge in your head. all you can do is cling onto the Faith. what else is there afterall if i don't even have that?
'wake me up when september ends..'
labour day. for the past 4 years, this was a day filled with swirlwind activities of packing, traveling, unpacking and settling down for another year. this year has been a quiet one, no stress in doing the last minute checks and running out of the house, no massive loads of groceries to jam into cooler bags. just me and the city. people always say that it doesn't quite hit you until september rolls around and everyone has gone back and i guess it has hit me. i miss it already. the apartment, the environment, the comfort, the purpose. as summer comes to an end, my lack of it all is staring right back at me without anything else to distract me.
so what is it now? i do not know. it is hard to stay positive at all times, especially when everyone is asking you the same questions. i do not have an answer, not the faintest idea of it all. so instead, i will smile with my head up high and retreat to nurse in the quietness.
sometimes, it is hard to convince yourself even with all the knowledge in your head. all you can do is cling onto the Faith. what else is there afterall if i don't even have that?
'wake me up when september ends..'
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
summer fun..
another week has gone by.. and it's mid-august already!! so for myself to remember summer 2006 in the future, i've decided to write some of them down..
* fishies
* got sick x2 + fainting
* 10 days apart
* grandpa's departure
* cyn's wedding!
* picnic in the park
* summerlicious x3
* vip treatment at chinese lantern festival
* addiction to csi + beading
* chinese night market
* jazz festival @ the beaches
* camping through hurricane cynthia
* beach day at sibbald
* pool party + bbq
* taste of danforth
* kbbq + worship night
too bad i have no more free wknds from now until mid-october.. summer, why must you end so soon!
* fishies
* got sick x2 + fainting
* 10 days apart
* grandpa's departure
* cyn's wedding!
* picnic in the park
* summerlicious x3
* vip treatment at chinese lantern festival
* addiction to csi + beading
* chinese night market
* jazz festival @ the beaches
* camping through hurricane cynthia
* beach day at sibbald
* pool party + bbq
* taste of danforth
* kbbq + worship night
too bad i have no more free wknds from now until mid-october.. summer, why must you end so soon!
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
another year older
a bit late but nonetheless... many thanks for the bday wishes and love. i really appreciate it! :) especially with the geographical distance, it sure shows who really do care/think about me. a whole lot of love for you guys.
the bday wknd was surely memorable. and i can't seem to shake off the crying thing on my bday. don't ask me why, i'm just a silly girl. a big hug to those that actually took the time out of their busy schedules to spend it with me. i'm sure hurricane cynthia has made it memorable for sure.
some highlights:
* screaming/laughing during the storm
* running around in the rain for damage control and holding up tarps with cars
* spelling/drawing w/ sparklers!
* building my own fire for the first time!
* trying new recipes and roasting food over the open fire
* putting up the food tent. 'nuff said.
* taking care of business in the wild nature.
* surprise bday cake that matched my outfit. :) hahah i'm such a geek.
this past wknd was a whole lot of fun too. went back to the same beach to roast under the blazing sun. yummlicious ribfest + henna tattoo. to wrap up my last free long wknd, the pool party + bbq. thanks for the surprise bday cake! it was decadent! :)
now it's back to insane work week. i foresee long days....
the bday wknd was surely memorable. and i can't seem to shake off the crying thing on my bday. don't ask me why, i'm just a silly girl. a big hug to those that actually took the time out of their busy schedules to spend it with me. i'm sure hurricane cynthia has made it memorable for sure.
some highlights:
* screaming/laughing during the storm
* running around in the rain for damage control and holding up tarps with cars
* spelling/drawing w/ sparklers!
* building my own fire for the first time!
* trying new recipes and roasting food over the open fire
* putting up the food tent. 'nuff said.
* taking care of business in the wild nature.
* surprise bday cake that matched my outfit. :) hahah i'm such a geek.
this past wknd was a whole lot of fun too. went back to the same beach to roast under the blazing sun. yummlicious ribfest + henna tattoo. to wrap up my last free long wknd, the pool party + bbq. thanks for the surprise bday cake! it was decadent! :)
now it's back to insane work week. i foresee long days....